For the past week I have taken some time away from many of the things I have found myself dependent on.  I took seven days away from the technology my iPhone provides with the exception of making phone calls.  I abandoned my connectivity to twitter, facebook and all social media sites and even really restricted my internet use.  This was a good exercise which allowed me to have some time to think, read and reflect the past year and about 2010.  Truth be told, it was scary.  It was a jump outside of my comfort zone and more specifically, a leap away from my extreme extrovert personality.  It was a very important week though, and I was so thankful for the time away and the time with my family.  I spent time in Fresno, Fish Camp, Monterey, San Francisco & Berkeley.  I spent time with people, family and time completely by myself.

In the last week I have thought a lot about individual identity.  The question of “Who am I?” may be one of the most profound questions we ever ask and one I needed to spend some time considering once again. For many, individual identity is wrapped up in things such as their profession, gender, social status, ethnicity, family background or financial position.  I am recovering from defining myself through these terms.  It is easy to  hide behind those descriptions.  More often than we wish to admit, they are great for masking our insecurities.  I am guilty of this.  But like I said, I am in recovery.

I am re-learning about my true identity and it is incredibly freeing.  I was reminded this week (in no subtle way) that I have been know and loved far before I was even born.  I am a part of the Beloved and that brings me incredible peace.  I am finding that hiding from my true identity only leads to disaster but when I can embrace the question of “Who am I?” with open arms I am able to reach my full potential.  In other words, embracing my identity is the only way to fully get everything I desire.

In 2010 I have committed to a vision statement of sorts for the year.  Who knows, it may last longer.  I am committed to creating a better story for myself, my family and my community.

My success in creating a better story in those areas is directly tied with my embrace of my own identity.  I am committed to returning to the center instead of living so close to the margins all of the time.  I am finding that that my life in many ways had become unsustainable.  When everything is moving so fast, that tends to happen and unfortunately, the unsustainable lifestyle can sneak up on us as we even seek to accomplish good or even great things.

Returning to the center and returning to a sense of balance will require amazing discipline as it is not in my nature to slow down.  However, if we are unable to find that balance, burn out is the only option.  I  choose something better.